Superglue

I am pissed off. I knocked a plate off the wall and the baby is screaming. The dogs are annoying me (they aren’t even being annoying) and I have a private lesson in about 20 minutes. The baby has been upset for two days because he had his first lot of injections, but on the plus side, he was so exhausted yesterday evening that we had a great night sleep. Hooray!

I haven’t written much lately, mainly because life with a newborn is rather busy. Although I have to say that he is getting interesting now (not that he wasn’t interesting before) but he now interacts with me and smiles. When he smiles my heart literally melts, it is amazing.

Self-isolation and social distancing is just getting boring now. Trying to come up with new ways to amuse my myself with a newborn is challenging. Mainly because I have no hands free. I have progressed from ‘Countdown’ to ‘The Chase’, perhaps by the end of the year I shall be a quizmaster… at least I am learning new something I suppose. Although learning that ‘No’ in the periodic table is Nobelium probably won’t help me much in my life. I applied for a Masters degree in Shakespeare and Education (fingers crossed) and I have actually started reading Julius Caesar. 

On the whole life is good. I went for the most amazing walk around Farley woods in the pouring rain the other day. It was absolute bliss. Walking round and round and round the local park was starting to drive me insane. Not to mention the locals who are mainly just, how can I put it nicely… nope, I can’t put it nicely so you will have to use your imagination. I do believe in Thumper’s philosophy of if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. 

The other week, one of my neighbours actually told the entire village the Jake and I had Coronavirus. I am not joking. I would walk outside with the dogs and I would get a nosey neighbour badger me with “Have you got it then?” My response being, “Got what?” for them to tell me just how ill I was with a deadly disease. Utterly ridiculous.

I have been told I shouldn’t walk my dogs in case they run up to people and infect them, Firstly, my dogs do not run over to anyone because I trained them not too, and secondly, dogs cannot get Coronavirus! 

I have even been asked to move my car because, I literally quote, people could brush up against my car and get infected. I mean, seriously, the world has gone mad. The latest one was that I wasn’t complying with government guidelines because I chatted to a neighbour outside in the garden and over two meters apart. I should have told them all to Foxtrot Oscar and mind their own business but clearly they are bored too and need something to talk about.

I have to say that some of it is so ridiculous it is quite funny. There are, however, a few people in the village who are just lovely and I get on great with. Particularly my Polish neighbour who is hilarious. I also borrow everything from him and annoy him greatly. Normally break whatever I have borrowed and give it back. 

So we are surviving and hopefully some form of normality will resume soon. One can hope, before I apply to Mastermind and embarrass myself on a national scale.