Ivy Found Henry

Ivy found Henry at the back of the garden. When I say Henry, I mean Henry hoover. I have a collection of crap ready to take to the dump, sadly Henry died and found himself amongst the pile. Ivy was totally freaked out by his sudden appearance behind the kennel and went mental. Ivy is the sort of dog that gets totally weirded out by something that has mysteriously moved or appeared. It is rather amusing sometimes. Lets say you move the tv, she then walks past it ten times before she realises it has moved then totally shits herself. The other day, I washed Copper’s giant teddy and sat him on a garden chair outside to dry. I let the dogs out for a wee and they all started barking. I stormed outside in an angry huff to see what all the fuss was about to find Ivy going mental at the teddy bear that had suddenly appeared in the garden, enjoying some sunshine on the patio. I was then in stitches to find her barking at the teddy. Scary teddy bear. 

I wash everything. Literally everything goes in the washing machine. My water bill is pretty high, but I don’t care because I need clean in my life. I also have this strange obsession where I have to change my socks about 5 times a day. No joke. I can’t walk around with dirty socks on or put dirty socks in my shoes. So I have to change them, all the time. Socks everywhere and they have to be matching too. How boring is my life? Impressively so. 

Today I broke a wooden chopping board. The other day I broke my stag ornament which I have literally broken about 10 times before and superglued back together again. Don’t mention the plate, I am still bitter. It stings. I don’t think there is much hope for the chopping board though. That’ll teach me to put it in the dish washer. Meanwhile the puppies are on a ‘what can I try and destroy today challenge’. Today I found Clover eating my kitchen chair leg. The other morning was the wooden step by the front door. I literally give up. Did I mention the hole in the wall? 

You know today is going to be a good day when you walk the dogs in the morning and you get dog poo on your hand and all over a dog lead. The dog lead went into the washing machine. See I told you I wash everything.

Today I went to Costco. I went to get laundry detergent. I came out with laundry detergent, three bags of dog food and a huge box of croissants. When I got home Jake asked me why I had brought so many croissants and the truth is I don’t really know. He then proceeded to tell me that the sell by date is tomorrow so I need to eat them all before they go off. I need to eat 24 croissants by Sunday and so far I have eaten 5. It seems a little excessive but I will eat them anyway. Why on earth did I buy so many croissants? 

I went to Costco looking feral and clearly I was hungry. I had sick down my t-shirt, was wearing baggy mud stained joggers and my shoes that are now talking to me. I might superglue them too. I really need to wash my hair. I am the epiphany of sexy right now. I should also say a prayer for Henry before he meets his fate in the pit of electrical doom at the dump. Perhaps he caught Coronavirus.

Aside from that, not much else is going on. Does anyone want a croissant?